Why I didn't post this weekend

On friday afternoon, I had come home from work. I have been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didnt have any lunch. In fact, I didnt eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was suprised they didnt ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the reciept and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the Creatine monster from the bag. I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier.

Should I say I was just eating alot? I remove the label on the tub and tear it into a thousand small peices. I flush that down the toilet too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom askes me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "mom, its just for a school project". "what project?" "I dont know mom I just started it!!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping up 5 scoops into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into???? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now.

The Creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this. I open the Creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I dont want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. NO I DONT. Creatine.

All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "NO MOM I DO NOT WANT A COOKIE" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?